This was all within about 4 minutes. She's such a silly girl.
Friday, March 4, 2011
The many faces of Bella Rouge...
This was all within about 4 minutes. She's such a silly girl.
Congratulations...to me!
The weather is pretty decent right now, on Sunday it's supposed to be 71, so I think it's a perfect day for Michele & I to take the girls to the park & maybe have some lunch, but it's been in the 60's since early February which just depresses me. I like winter & in my opinion, it should be colder in February. And of course, as I usually feel around this time of year, I can feel summer looming, just waiting until the most opportune time to rear its ugly head. I hate Las Vegas summers. I've been here for 21 years & I'm still not used to it. I get hot when it's 75 degrees outside. The only thing good about summer, in my opinion, is that there are no school zones. Everything else sucks. I'm a winter time kind of girl. It says "comfort" to me. The cold, crisp air, a nice hot vanilla latte from Starbucks, even the clothes are cuter. I love shopping for winter clothes.
I don't have much planned today, Dave took my car to work to give it a smog, LOF, & put new tires on it & I don't like driving his truck. Partly because I can't park it without smashing it, & I don't like the bumpiness of it. I like my car. Low to the ground, loud, smooth & such power. You barely have to tap on that gas & away it goes. It's so awesome. Anyone who says you shouldn't have a coupe when you have a kid is just lazy. I have no problem putting Bella in the car or taking her out. The only thing I don't like about my car is that it's an automatic. I wanted a stick but it's not that big of a deal. I can't wait until I can get one of the new mustangs. You know, the 5.0? Awesome.
So if I don't have to go anywhere, I won't but I might take Bella to have some breakfast. I wish everyone a wonderful day. :)
Christina
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Ink me up
I wanted to post a couple of photos of my most recent tattoos, which aren't so recent. The lioness on my arm was done for my birthday last July & the one on my side was done in November. That was supposed to be my last tattoo but with my father dieing, I'm thinking I'm gonna get one for him too. When I got my rosary done on my wrist for my G.ma, my dad said, "Why don't you get one done for me?" And I said, "When you die, I will." I just never thought it would be so soon, but I know he'd love it so I may get something that says "Daddy's girl" or his name or something on my ankle, but then I really need to stop because I'm running out of room. Haha.
This tattoo was the most excruciating pain I've have ever felt in my life. It took about 5-6 hours with no break, just constant agony, but well worth it. I know you can't read it, it's Robert Frosts' "Fire & Ice" which has always been my favorite poem.
Don't mind the sunglasses, it goes with the whole "badass" image. Cause I am you know.......a badass. :)
My lioness is my favorite tattoo to date. I get more compliments on this, & it's easy to see why. I picked out a picture of a lioness I saw online & Noelin did a fantastic job of bringing her to life on my arm. He is purely incredible. Here's the picture I found online:
Isn't it incredible? She has such poise & she's so confidant & regal. Noelin wants to do a backround on her but I think less is more, which is why I didn't get her in color. Anyway, there ya have it.
Awe, isn't he sweet? He just texted me that & I thought I'd share. :)
Bella Rouge!!!!!! She got that ridiculously adorable coat from her great Aunt Chris & great Uncle Ed for her birthday. Unfortunately, it hasn't been cold enough for her to wear it but I had to take a picture of it because of how cute she looks! This next winter, Dave & Bella & I are going to rent a cabin in Big Bear but she'll probably be grown out of it by then. :( Oh well, at least I got the pictures!!!!
Bella Rouge!!!!!! She got that ridiculously adorable coat from her great Aunt Chris & great Uncle Ed for her birthday. Unfortunately, it hasn't been cold enough for her to wear it but I had to take a picture of it because of how cute she looks! This next winter, Dave & Bella & I are going to rent a cabin in Big Bear but she'll probably be grown out of it by then. :( Oh well, at least I got the pictures!!!!
Stand Up!!
So I didn't think I would have such an overwhelming desire to post so often. Maybe it's just a phase since I just started this. Maybe after a while I'll get bored & stop posting so much, I don't know. In any case...
Bella is sleeping as I write this. So the house is nice & quiet, at least for a while. I figured I would have some coffee, do a little blogging, & read some of my book. Bella hates it when I read while she's awake. She wants my undivided attention. Haha. I swear, she's becoming more & more like me everyday. I worry about her when she gets older, like in high school. She's gonna be one of those girls who stands up for herself too much. I know, you ask, "But Christina, is there such a thing as standing up for yourself too much?" Why yes, there is.
You see, when I was younger I had a very hard attitude. I still do, actually. I have a close group of friends & family who I love & respect & I feel like I don't need anymore. So to people I first meet, I put off this cold, hard attitude with this "look" that says, "Don't talk to me." (So says my boyfriend, anyway. Haha) Apparently without even knowing I'm doing it, I'll be glaring at someone, giving them a very mean look. Most of the time, I really don't mean to do it, it's just in my nature. I'm protecting myself. Here's this person who could eventually hurt me, & I don't need them so I'm going to give them dirty looks so that they will feel uncomfortable & stay away from me. I used to do it even to customers at Auto Tech......so they say.
But I think that I've softened up some as the years have gone by. I used to not let anyone get away with speaking badly of me or of anyone I care about. If someone was giving me a dirty look, at school perhaps, I'd stare at them & look just as mean until they'd look away, as most people will because it becomes uncomfortable. My boyfriend, Dave, is, in my opinion, very gifted in the sense that when someone says something negative about him, whether it be to his face or behind his back, he doesn't care. He lets things go. And it's not like when most people say, "Oh I don't care what they say. Doesn't bother me." Most people, myself included, when saying that, are lying through their teeth. They say it to make themselves look better in the hope that if they say it, it might come true. Like if you admit that your feelings were hurt, it would make you less of a person? Bullshit. It makes you honest. It makes you human. But no, when Dave says he doesn't care, he really doesn't. I wish I were that strong of a person. My feelings get hurt. Sure there are people who I really don't care about where if they say something, I literally couldn't care less, but most of the time I hurt. To hear something mean said about you hurts you, & instead of wanting to show that pain, you would rather show anger & attack back at them. You want them to feel that pain as you have. I used to be very confrontational, I still am, but I've calmed down more. Like if Dave & I are out somewhere & we're holding hands, let's say I see some woman looking at Dave. Not just looking, flirting with her eyes or whatever the fuck it is that girls do, I don't just ignore that. This bitch sees that we're together, we're holding hands so you can't say, "Oh I thought you were his daughter." (Haha.) And she still is disrespectful enough to be staring at my man. Uh-uh. I don't play that shit. I will stare her down & give her the dirtiest look that says, "If you don't move you eyes off my man, I'll cut them out." Haha. I wouldn't ever do that, of course. But she doesn't know that. If she sees my "look" & continues to stare at him, then I go up to her. I don't want to fight. I'll just say something like, "Excuse me, honey, would you mind keeping your eyes off my boyfriend. It's starting to get annoying" That's all. Dave hates that. Haha. Most women would take the hint & move on, but rest assured, that doesn't mean I'm afraid to take it up a notch if she runs her mouth off. Some women are devious, disgusting creatures who need to be put in their place & most of them continue to act that way because no one has. I will. I may be a bitch if I don't like you, but one thing I won't do is try to flirt with a guy when his girlfriend is right there. That's just fucked & I won't let some bitch do that to me. I don't mind admitting it, I'd much rather stand up for myself then sit back & cry about it or let someone else do my fighting for me. THAT is weakness to me. I will ALWAYS fight back. If you let someone walk all over you or talk badly about you & you just put up with it, you don't fight back, that person & probably more people, are gonna know that you're a chump. You don't have enough respect for yourself to say something to them. I understand if like you work with someone so you wanna keep the peace. But if they continue to be disrespectful, enough is enough. You need to let them know what's up. But now, I wouldn't go up to someone & start pushing them, trying to fight. I've grown past that. I'll talk shit back, no problem. Of course, there is a certain line & if someone crosses it, God help them, but it would take a lot to get me to say, "Fuck it" & actually start beatin' someone down.
I worry that Isabella will be even more confrontational then I am. God, what then? Haha. I couldn't really tell her that's bad. I mean if I found out she walked up to someone & punched them for no reason, she'd be in some serious trouble. But if I found out that some stupid girl was talking about her for a while & she tried to ignore it but the girl wouldn't stop so she went up to the girl & defended herself & it resulted in a physical fight, I'm not gonna tell her "You were so wrong for doing that." I'd be proud of her. I don't know, I'm jumpin' the gun here & thinking too far ahead, but I think about these things all the time. Strange.....
Anyway, that's what I was thinking of & I thought I'd share it. What do you think?
Bella is sleeping as I write this. So the house is nice & quiet, at least for a while. I figured I would have some coffee, do a little blogging, & read some of my book. Bella hates it when I read while she's awake. She wants my undivided attention. Haha. I swear, she's becoming more & more like me everyday. I worry about her when she gets older, like in high school. She's gonna be one of those girls who stands up for herself too much. I know, you ask, "But Christina, is there such a thing as standing up for yourself too much?" Why yes, there is.
You see, when I was younger I had a very hard attitude. I still do, actually. I have a close group of friends & family who I love & respect & I feel like I don't need anymore. So to people I first meet, I put off this cold, hard attitude with this "look" that says, "Don't talk to me." (So says my boyfriend, anyway. Haha) Apparently without even knowing I'm doing it, I'll be glaring at someone, giving them a very mean look. Most of the time, I really don't mean to do it, it's just in my nature. I'm protecting myself. Here's this person who could eventually hurt me, & I don't need them so I'm going to give them dirty looks so that they will feel uncomfortable & stay away from me. I used to do it even to customers at Auto Tech......so they say.
But I think that I've softened up some as the years have gone by. I used to not let anyone get away with speaking badly of me or of anyone I care about. If someone was giving me a dirty look, at school perhaps, I'd stare at them & look just as mean until they'd look away, as most people will because it becomes uncomfortable. My boyfriend, Dave, is, in my opinion, very gifted in the sense that when someone says something negative about him, whether it be to his face or behind his back, he doesn't care. He lets things go. And it's not like when most people say, "Oh I don't care what they say. Doesn't bother me." Most people, myself included, when saying that, are lying through their teeth. They say it to make themselves look better in the hope that if they say it, it might come true. Like if you admit that your feelings were hurt, it would make you less of a person? Bullshit. It makes you honest. It makes you human. But no, when Dave says he doesn't care, he really doesn't. I wish I were that strong of a person. My feelings get hurt. Sure there are people who I really don't care about where if they say something, I literally couldn't care less, but most of the time I hurt. To hear something mean said about you hurts you, & instead of wanting to show that pain, you would rather show anger & attack back at them. You want them to feel that pain as you have. I used to be very confrontational, I still am, but I've calmed down more. Like if Dave & I are out somewhere & we're holding hands, let's say I see some woman looking at Dave. Not just looking, flirting with her eyes or whatever the fuck it is that girls do, I don't just ignore that. This bitch sees that we're together, we're holding hands so you can't say, "Oh I thought you were his daughter." (Haha.) And she still is disrespectful enough to be staring at my man. Uh-uh. I don't play that shit. I will stare her down & give her the dirtiest look that says, "If you don't move you eyes off my man, I'll cut them out." Haha. I wouldn't ever do that, of course. But she doesn't know that. If she sees my "look" & continues to stare at him, then I go up to her. I don't want to fight. I'll just say something like, "Excuse me, honey, would you mind keeping your eyes off my boyfriend. It's starting to get annoying" That's all. Dave hates that. Haha. Most women would take the hint & move on, but rest assured, that doesn't mean I'm afraid to take it up a notch if she runs her mouth off. Some women are devious, disgusting creatures who need to be put in their place & most of them continue to act that way because no one has. I will. I may be a bitch if I don't like you, but one thing I won't do is try to flirt with a guy when his girlfriend is right there. That's just fucked & I won't let some bitch do that to me. I don't mind admitting it, I'd much rather stand up for myself then sit back & cry about it or let someone else do my fighting for me. THAT is weakness to me. I will ALWAYS fight back. If you let someone walk all over you or talk badly about you & you just put up with it, you don't fight back, that person & probably more people, are gonna know that you're a chump. You don't have enough respect for yourself to say something to them. I understand if like you work with someone so you wanna keep the peace. But if they continue to be disrespectful, enough is enough. You need to let them know what's up. But now, I wouldn't go up to someone & start pushing them, trying to fight. I've grown past that. I'll talk shit back, no problem. Of course, there is a certain line & if someone crosses it, God help them, but it would take a lot to get me to say, "Fuck it" & actually start beatin' someone down.
I worry that Isabella will be even more confrontational then I am. God, what then? Haha. I couldn't really tell her that's bad. I mean if I found out she walked up to someone & punched them for no reason, she'd be in some serious trouble. But if I found out that some stupid girl was talking about her for a while & she tried to ignore it but the girl wouldn't stop so she went up to the girl & defended herself & it resulted in a physical fight, I'm not gonna tell her "You were so wrong for doing that." I'd be proud of her. I don't know, I'm jumpin' the gun here & thinking too far ahead, but I think about these things all the time. Strange.....
Anyway, that's what I was thinking of & I thought I'd share it. What do you think?
"Every man has but one destiny" -The Godfather
As I'm sure you all can tell, I like The Godfather. It's more then just "like", it is my favorite book & I encourage you all to read it. I never thought I would be interested in it but when I started reading the first few pages, I was hooked. Although the movie is good, the book has so much more that the movies left out, as is usually the case.
Ahh, I love coffee. There's nothing more comforting to me then having a nice hot cup of coffee early in the morning, I'm going to miss it. Oh yeah! For those of you who don't know, I'm quitting smoking. My official quit date is March 12th. I have "tried" to quit before with no success, but this time I'm not going to "try", I'm going to do it. So if I post some rants around that time, forgive me, it'll be the nicotine fits talking.
So another day, another dollar. Well....not for me. Haha. Sometimes I feel guilty about not working but then again, that's what Dave & I wanted. When I was a few months pregnant we both agreed that I should stay at home with Bella so we wouldn't have to put her in daycare. And up until about a month ago, I was receiving unemployment. $300 a week so that more then covered my bills. We're doing okay but it always seems like so many things come up at once. Take the beginning of March, for example. Around the 1st is when the mortgage is due & when Dave pays his required child support,. My car payment is due on the 7th. These are things that are due every month, okay no problem. But then we found out I need rear tires on my car, & they're probably about $160 each, mas o menos. My registration is also due on my car on the 10th. $275. WHAT?! Yepp, that's right. It's expensive to have a car as bitchin' as mine. I also have a dentist appointment on the 16th & we have no dental insurance so for a routine cleaning it's over $100 & Dave's daughter's birthday is also in the beginning of March. It's all this extra shit that really gets us.
Our relationship is pretty good right now. We're hardly ever fighting & we're just enjoying being with each other, & Isabella. We don't go out on many dates but we can always go out to a movie or dinner if we choose to, my mom loves watching Bella.
Ah & yesterday Bella Rouge learned how to get down the stairs! She's been able to crawl up the stairs for a while now but she never wanted to come near the stairs when we're upstairs, she'd get all scared, but yesterday she just....did it. She's doing so many things these days. My favorite thing she started doing recently is holding hands.....sort of. Haha. When I tell her, "Are you ready to go take a bath" or "Let's take a nap" she'll start walking to the stairs but I'll stay by the couch & say "Take me with you" while holding my hand out. She will then run back to me, grab my finger in her hand, & pull me along with her. She'll also do this if we're outside & I let her walk around. I LOVE IT!!! So does Dave. When he first saw her doing this he immediately jumped up & said, "I wanna do it!" Haha. He loves his little girl. I love watching them together.
We paid off my bill for my high school diploma so it should be coming any day now. I DID IT! I'm very proud of myself & I know my dad would be too. My next step? I'm going to start taking community college classes until I get my associates degree, then transfer my credits over to a university & take two years there so I can get my BA. (Cuts down on the cost) Once I get my BA, I will become a teacher which, as everyone knows, is what I've wanted to do for a long time. I will not be satisfied at any job I have unless it's teaching. Of course this isn't going to happen soon, it's a long term thing, but it will happen. I'm actually a very intelligent person. When I was actually at school, I did very well, it's just that I was never there. I hated going, I hated waking up so damn early.
Charlie Sheen is an idiot, by the way. Sorry, I know it's off topic but as I'm writing all this I'm watching the today show & they just had an interview with him. Poor guy. He's so wrapped up in his addiction & denial he's never going to have any recovery unless he gives in & realizes he's powerless. Oh well.
I'd like to go to Seattle this summer with Bella, there's family that hasn't been able to see her in a while & I know that once you bond with this little girl, any time spent away from her is heartbreaking. I remember how hard it was for me to leave her when I went up there in January to visit my dad, & then back up there again for his funeral. Plus I hate Las Vegas in the summer, & it would be nice to spend time with family. So we'll see how that goes. Something might deter me from being able to go though, a few of you know what I'm talking about but I don't want to tell EVERYONE because it might jinx it. Let's just say it's something I've wanted since I was 13 years old. ;)
Anywho, I need more coffee & then I need to get myself & Bella ready for the day ahead. I encourage you all to start your own blog. I'll follow you. I'd love to read up on your lives.
Christina
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
In the Beginning...
So I decided to start this stupid blog. Don't really know why, just to vent, I guess. I don't do the diary thing anymore so I figure this is a good way to express my feelings as well as updating my friends & family how me, Dave & Isabella are doing.
Right now we're doing pretty good. Dave is working hard, as always. Nothing really new happens with him. Haha. If he keeps doing what he's doing at work, in a few years he will be a pretty wealthy man.
Bella is good, too. She's such a happy baby & I hope I can keep in my mind the HUGE smile she gets on her face everyday when she hears the garage open & knows daddy's home. She keeps trying to do summersaults, & is a very picky eater. But she does love ice cream, just like her dad. It's weird to look at her doing so many different things & getting so big because it feels like just yesterday when we brought her home from the hospital. I miss it when she was a newborn. I tell this to Dave & he looks at me like I'm crazy. :) She is still in the 90-95% on her height which is to be expected. I'm 5'7" so she's going to be tall with long legs which is fine with me & Dave has always said he hopes she is tall like me. We still don't know what color her hair is, it depends on what outfit she's wearing but I'm sure she'll eventually turn into a blonde. And she is a very loud, stubborn baby. Again, like me. :) She lets you know when she wants something & she is not afraid to tell you when you're doing something not to her liking. I hope she stays that way. I want her to speak her mind, to never be afraid to tell someone how she feels.
I'm doing okay. In a few days it will be 2 months since my dad died. I have dreams about him. It will be the weirdest dream where everything is so strange that I know it's a dream, but in it HE is so....real. His physical appearance, his sarcasm, his "looks", so I wake up crying. I talk to him a lot. I miss him so much.......
I'm going to update more later, but right now I can tell Dave is hungry because he keeps looking over at me with this look that says, "PLEASE make dinner." Haha.
Right now we're doing pretty good. Dave is working hard, as always. Nothing really new happens with him. Haha. If he keeps doing what he's doing at work, in a few years he will be a pretty wealthy man.
Bella is good, too. She's such a happy baby & I hope I can keep in my mind the HUGE smile she gets on her face everyday when she hears the garage open & knows daddy's home. She keeps trying to do summersaults, & is a very picky eater. But she does love ice cream, just like her dad. It's weird to look at her doing so many different things & getting so big because it feels like just yesterday when we brought her home from the hospital. I miss it when she was a newborn. I tell this to Dave & he looks at me like I'm crazy. :) She is still in the 90-95% on her height which is to be expected. I'm 5'7" so she's going to be tall with long legs which is fine with me & Dave has always said he hopes she is tall like me. We still don't know what color her hair is, it depends on what outfit she's wearing but I'm sure she'll eventually turn into a blonde. And she is a very loud, stubborn baby. Again, like me. :) She lets you know when she wants something & she is not afraid to tell you when you're doing something not to her liking. I hope she stays that way. I want her to speak her mind, to never be afraid to tell someone how she feels.
I'm doing okay. In a few days it will be 2 months since my dad died. I have dreams about him. It will be the weirdest dream where everything is so strange that I know it's a dream, but in it HE is so....real. His physical appearance, his sarcasm, his "looks", so I wake up crying. I talk to him a lot. I miss him so much.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)